Darkness - Week 1
Hello friend. It is an honour to journey alongside you this Advent season. Grab a cup of coffee or tea, find a quiet space and give yourself the gift of being still. This first week of Advent invites you to come and be warmed by the fire of God’s presence, to be present to your own soul, and to posture yourself in wonder as you reflect on God’s Word. Let’s begin…together.
A quick note before you begin: The devotional material below is meant to be a GIFT to YOU. Please use it however it will benefit you most. You can read everything through in one sitting and ponder what you have read throughout your week, or you can take it in smaller chunks and meditate on only a scripture or two at a time, reflecting a little bit each day.
Invitation
Find a quiet place. Close your eyes. Breathe in and breathe out. God is here with you in this place. Be still and turn your mind and heart upon Him.
Scripture Reading(s)
As you begin this journey through advent, read the whole of Psalm 40 quietly to yourself. Then read it a second time, aloud if you can. If you have the time, read it again a third time, being attentive to what words seem to move you, questions you might have, or thoughts and feelings that the text evokes. Do the same with scriptures below.
Psalm 40:12
Genesis 1:1-2
Psalm 139: 7-16
John 1:1-2
Reflect
“When darkness clothes the night
and I no longer see.
When the way ahead’s unclear
filled with uncertainty
When I can’t see You or hear You speak
When the ground is shaking beneath my feet.
I will wait. I will wait for You God. I will wait. “
— Jalene Buyer, Wait
Darkness. One of my first experiences with deep darkness was in a mine shaft in southern Alberta. My family went on a road trip when I was about 11 years old and one of our stops was to take a tour in an old mine. As we descended below ground, the darkness seemed to envelop me. It was the kind of darkness where you can’t see your hand in front of your face, let alone the person in front of you. The kind of darkness that surrounds you and threatens to overtake you. I experienced a fear in that moment that I hadn’t experience before. In hindsight, I am pretty sure I had my first panic attack in that mine, unbeknownst to my parents at the time.
That wasn’t the last time I would experience darkness, although the darkness I have faced since has been of another kind. I have known the darkness of infertility, being told that chances are slim to none of conceiving and living day by day in the tension of uncertainty and grief for years. I have known the darkness that can descend with mental illness, feeling unsafe in my own skin, unable to see Truth even when it is right in front of me. Have you felt darkness before? The kind that surrounds and threatens to overtake you?
Our Psalmist of Psalm 40? He experienced darkness too.
The beginning of Psalm 40 is a well-quoted testimony of God’s faithful deliverance in the Psalmists’ life. And while these verses will get our attention in the coming weeks, verses 11-13 give a vulnerable snapshot into the present reality of the Psalmist. At the beginning of any journey we want to start where we are and move forward from that place. And our psalmist?He found himself in the middle of the dark. He says:
“For troubles without number surround me;
my sins have overtaken me, and I cannot see.
They are more than the hairs of my head,
and my heart fails within me.” (Ps 40:12)
The Psalmist goes onto say in verse 13, “Be pleased to save me, Lord;
come quickly, Lord, to help me.”
When we find ourselves in darkness, our first instinct is to get the heck out.
Back in that old mine? I must have screamed bloody murder. I didn’t care about making a scene. I wanted out and I wanted out now. All rational thinking was gone. I was running on pure survival instinct.
The psalmist too isn’t thinking of extending his stay in that dark place. He calls on the Lord to save him and to save him quick.
As we enter this Advent season, I want to invite you into a place of darkness. This might seem like a strange place to start in a season that is full of lights and activity and celebration, but in order to celebrate the coming of Christ, who is the Light of the World, we first need to be acquainted with darkness and our ache for the light.
This season of Advent is about waiting and preparing our hearts in order to celebrate the arrival of Christ. And waiting? It fosters longing within us. It allows ache to rise up within our hearts. And that ache is painful. When it comes to darkness and pain, our survival tactics kick into high gear and try to get us the heck out. In the month of December it is easy to run around and do all the things. Often to the neglect of our hearts and often to the neglect of the One we claim to celebrate in this season.
Can I invite you to darkness this week? To sit in uncertainty. To neglect escapism and sit with your own soul? I don’t know how you come to this Advent season. I don’t know your deepest longings or the things that you ache for. But God does. And Darkness? He knows it well. He knew the all encompassing darkness before He spoke light into being. He knew the darkness of leaving heaven and entering a virgins womb. He knew the darkness of a world that didn’t recognize Him… and still He came. And He will come again and light up all of our darkness once and for all.
But for now? Maybe instead of trying desperately to escape whatever darkness you find yourself in, can you invite God into it with you? Can you sit with yourself in the midst of it?
Allow the ache of your soul to rise to the surface and invite more of God into this Advent season.
Respond
Take a few moments to be present. What thoughts and feelings do you have after today’s scripture reading and reflection? What might God be speaking to you? How might you make room this Advent season to know the ache of your soul longing for more of God?
Pray
Oh God and Father. You who expand us through longing that You might fill us with more of Yourself, grant us the courage to sit in the discomfort of our darkness; our own longing and waiting, that we might know the blessing of receiving more of You.
