Lets kick down some doors (part 2)

A few years ago I made the decision to stop working full time with the main purpose of setting aside more time to invest in  music, writing, and to work on a book idea that had been mulling around in my mind and heart for some time. It was a big decision, but my husband and I agreed that it was the right move for our family. My job at that time was  working with women who were recovering from addiction and building new and beautiful lives. It was rewarding but it was hard. I was confronted with my own “stuff” everyday as we worked through their stories and  after 40 hours a week of pouring out into the lives of these amazing women I worked with, I didn’t feel like I had any reserves left to give to being creative. So I figured that in order to steward this dream in my heart, I needed more time to give to it. After being offered a part-time position with a psychologist friend of mine, I decided it was the perfect win-win situation to increase my creativity.

More time?  Check.

Now that I had the time to write, I realized that I didn’t have the right space set up for me to actually begin writing. So I went to work on creating an office space in one of our spare bedrooms. Once that was completed, I convinced myself that our entire home needed a once-over in terms of cleaning and organizing. But really, nothing is “quick” for me. I am thorough to a fault. I have trouble simply tidying my kitchen and often opt for the deep clean option instead. So, after multiple days of purging, cleaning, and organizing, my house was in order and my office space was set up and ready to be inhabited with creativity.

Clean and organized space to write? Check.

Except now that I just started my new part-time job, I decided that I really needed to focus on building those skills before I started anything new with writing.
And then we found out that we were expecting a baby.
And I was more tired than I have ever been in my life.
And the house needed painting.
And the nursery needed decorating.
… and I desperately needed to sleep.

And that dream of writing and music?  Well it sat on the back of my heart and mind. Still just a dream.

Let’s be real for a minute.

It is never going to be the right time to pursue the dreams that are on our hearts. There will always be something else. There will never be enough time. Circumstances are never going to be ideal. We will always find a reason why the ‘next season’ we enter into will be the time.
Just. not. now.
Sweet friends, now is the only time we have got.

I understand that there really are different seasons that we go through in our lives and our focus might need to change depending on where we are at. Believe me – I do get that. But I have a hunch that even when given the ideal situation (enough time, resources, space etc.) that we can still push our dreams to the side and fill that season with something else.

I am reminded of the parable of the talents that Jesus tells his disciples in Matthew 25. It is a story of a man who entrusts his resources to his three servants when he goes out of town. To one servant he gives 5 talents, to another he gives 2, and to another 1, each according to his own ability. The first two servants steward the talents well and multiply what was given to them, while the third servant, full of fear, buries his talent in the ground. When the man comes home from his time away, he asked his servants to give account for the resources that he gave them. He was pleased with the first two servants and because they were faithful with little, he made them responsible over much and they were filled with joy. However, with the third servant who buried the talent given to him, what he had was taken away and given to the others and this man was filled with regret.

As I read this, my heart trembled slightly within my chest.
We are all have passions, abilities, skill-set, and dreams.
Yet so often, like the third servant, we take what we have and for a multitude of different reasons, we bury it in the ground.
We play it safe and don’t step out.
We deep clean our kitchens instead.
And don’t get me wrong. Everyone loves a clean kitchen.
But cleaning the kitchen isn’t necessarily the “talent” that God has entrusted to us.
It is a good and noble thing to do, but we often neglect the very thing that ignites life and passion within us for shiny countertops.

What is the “talent” that God has entrusted into your care?
What are the passions, abilities, resources, or spheres of influence that are within your grasp right now?
What are you doing with them? 

Sometimes the doors that we need to kick down aren’t external circumstances.
Sometimes those doors are within ourselves.
And often those doors have the word FEAR scribbled all over it.
Fear can take a lot of different forms: procrastination, excessive busyness, laziness, self sabotage, over spiritualizing circumstances, false humility, pride, over responsibility, etc.

Whatever our particular door looks like, the end result is often the same. We often wrestle with the regret of burying a dream and we grieve the loss of joy over not stewarding a passion or talent that we have.
But this doesn’t have to be the end of our story.
We can dig up what has been buried.
We can start now with what we have and give room for passion and talents to grow.

So, how do we knock down these doors within us? 

1. We identify what doors are in our way

2. We just START (I know it’s easier said than done, but seriously. Just Start.)

If you dream of writing – sit down and write something.
If you dream of having a home that others feel safe and loved in – pick up the phone and invite someone over.
If you dream of going back to school – print off an application form.
If you dream of taking photos – find a photographer to second shoot with.

Don’t think about needing to get from point A to Z in one big leap. Just take the FIRST step.

3. We involve others on the journey.

In the parable, THREE  servants were given “talents” to  steward. They weren’t expected to do it alone. Neither are you. Talk with others about your dream. Brainstorm together!

4. We talk with God about the dream, the resources, the abilities, the passions that we have.
Ask Him for forgiveness for agreeing to fear and burying what you have been given. Grieve what needs grieving and invite Him to work within you. Know His presence with you.

God doesn’t waste anything. He redeems time. He renews our hearts. He heals regret.  Ask Him to empower you to start stewarding your dream well. There is a LOT of joy waiting for you as you journey with Him in the process.

Let’s take little steps together okay?